Hi lilRed... I'm sorry to hear that you've had a bit of an unlucky start...

Don't let it get to you; my grandfather used to tell me that the only people who don't make mistakes probably never tried anything in the first place!

Have you ever ridden an ATV or a snowmobile? I'd compare the feel of a Spyder to them more than I would to a motorcycle.
Riding lessons... I'm also way too far away to help, but...
Get thee to a big parking lot! Preferably when it's pretty much empty of spectators...
Once there just take your time getting the feel of the how the bike responds to the throttle and brakes. Straight lines only at this time! Don't worry about speed... 1st and 2nd gear bursts only
Once you start feeling comfy with how the bike responds to your inputs you can start tinkering around with how it turns... Again... take small steps at each lesson. I probably don't need to say this, but try staying to secondary roads until you've gained some confidence in your Spydering senses...

Check with your dealer... Do they have anybody there who you can at least talk to aobut tehcniques and how to ride safely? Do they ever have rides for their customers? Sometimes the dealers can be a starting point for rides so you might be able to meet others who are just like you, but afraid to ask for some assistance...
Good luck, and please let us know how you make out!